God has made me into the woman I am today. I will become 20 years old in less than 2 months. With that said, He has transformed my life into a story filled with ; joy, love, peace, purpose, and much more than words could strive to describe. I am a sinner (like all) and encounter moments when I am of little faith. I used to feel numb because it was my choice instead of pain and hurt. He made me realize I need to feel pain and anguish in order to feel joy and love. For joy and love is pain in one way or another. He tells me everyday now to be freed of any sadness that roams this earth. Yes, he says I must cry but not for long. He tells me being sad is selfish and arrogant. You are thinking about yourself and your own feelings instead of pleasing God and other people.
I must make a claim here that being joyful for others is not easy. Joy makes me sad and sadness makes me joyful. I purposely torture myself so I know that suffering isn't a bad thing. How could it be if it is part of my God's divine will? My King!!! If I could change one thing about my life now (family, house, place, friends, future, age, or looks) I would not change anything. God is urging me to live the life he has created me to live. To exude my art and love. To love one another as Jesus loves us. To do bad for good is bad. To do good for good is average. And to do good to bad people is divine. Below are some bible verses that have encouraged me to walk in faith during this pain.
The painting is of Mary Magdalene by Giovanni Savoldo. It speaks to me because it reminds me of myself looking behind my shoulder to realize Jesus was behind me all along. I feel like Mary because I too have sinned greatly. But Jesus still loves and forgives me even though I don't deserve it a bit. Thank you God.
P.S. One of these quotes is by C.S. Lewis who is very good (Mom recommends!)
Please the Lord today and everyday!
Love,
Julia Rae
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